If you're having a problem with substance abuse, there are a lot of people you could turn to for help. A doctor, perhaps; maybe your pastor; or, failing that, a D-list celebrity with a history of substance abuse. If you're in need of that last one, we're happy to inform you that Michael Lohan, father of six-time rehab visitor Lindsay Lohan, has decided to open his own clinic. And we have decided to suggest some slogans for him. Here you go, Michael!
Charlize Theron Chelsea Handler Cheryl Burke China Chow ChloÎ Sevigny
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